Jennifer Lopez displays on Ben Affleck break up: ‘I truthfully felt like I used to be going to die’

Jennifer Lopez Celebrates 20Th Anniversary Of This Is And Reflects On Ben Affleck Relationship.
Jennifer Lopez celebrates 20th anniversary of This Is Me…Now and displays on Ben Affleck relationship. (Photo: Barcroft Media through Getty Images)

Jennifer Lopez stated her and Ben Affleck‘s breakup 20 years in the past was so “painful” she thought she’d “die.” In a brand new interview, the singer talked about her newest Affleck-inspired album and what the actor-director stated needed to say about some seemingly private lyrics.

Lopez, 53, spoke to Apple Music’s Zane Lowe about her forthcoming album This Is Me…Now, a follow-up to her hit 2002 challenge This Is Me…Then.

“Twenty years ago, I fell in love with the love of my life,” Lopez defined. “Now, the most amazing, incredible, unbelievable thing has happened… the reason we’re here is because I want to capture this moment in time because it is even better than the first time.”

Affleck and Lopez tied the knot (twice!) over the summer season after rekindling their relationship. The Gigli co-stars initially referred to as off their engagement in 2004.

“It was so painful after we broke up. Once we called off that wedding 20 years ago, I was — it was the biggest heartbreak of my life. I honestly felt like I was going to die,” Lopez recalled. “It sent me on a spiral for the next 18 years where I just couldn’t get it right. Couldn’t get it right. But now, 20 years later, it does have a happy ending. It has the most would-never-happen-in-Hollywood ending. ‘That would never happen. We’re not going to write that because nobody would believe it’ ending.”

Lopez stated that when she and Affleck bought again collectively, he referred to as her out for not performing songs that had been about him on This Is Me…Then.

“I was like, ‘You’re right. It was painful.’ It was a part of me then that I had to put away to move on and survive. It was a survival tactic, for sure,” Lopez recalled. (By the best way, she stated Affleck “knows all of the words” to songs on that album.)

This Is Me…Then really captured a moment in time where I fell in love with the love of my life. It’s all right there on the record. I didn’t even realize what was happening and what I was doing,” Lopez remembered. “Every single song that we wrote there, me writing ‘Dear Ben,’ it was such a special moment in time to have captured.”

Lopez stated the media frenzy surrounding their relationship “destroyed us” all these years in the past.

“That was part of what destroyed us was the outside energy that was coming at us. And we loved each other, it was hard. It felt, at times, unfair, but neither one of us is that person to be like, woe is me. So we were like, ‘Well, we just got to dust it off and keep it moving.’ And I think, in the weirdest way, that it motivated both of us to then become and do the things that we wound up doing, which is kind of go into hyper-gear,” she stated, noting that they had “to do it separately.” He went into hyper-gear and I went into hyper-gear. But not collectively. We needed to do it individually… It fueled us in a bizarre means that we felt we needed to show ourselves once more.”

Lopez hinted that This Is Me…Now will feature similarly personal lyrics as its predecessor.

“We captured me at this second in time after I was reunited with the love of my life and we determined we had been going to be collectively perpetually. The complete message of the album then is that this love exists. This is an actual love. Now I feel what the message of the album may be very a lot in the event you had been questioning if in case you have, like me at instances, misplaced hope, almost given up, do not. Because real love does exist and a few issues do final perpetually and that is actual,” the Marry Me star shared.

“I need to put that message out into the world and that does take numerous vulnerability. But I could not cease myself and a few components of it scare me. And I feel components of it scare Ben too. He’s like, ‘Oh, do you actually need to say all these things?’ And I’m like, ‘I do not know the way else to do it, child,’” Lopez teased.

This Is Me…Now will be released in 2023.

MORE: Jennifer Lopez says private video of her wedding performance for Ben Affleck was ‘stolen’