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Ruby had one thing to inform them. She was going to return out as trans. But she wasn’t capable of.
“It was scary — just the sheer fact of telling them something about me they didn’t know,” Ruby tells PEOPLE, sitting down of their living room final week. “It was intimidating — but I wasn’t worried. They had been so accepting of me my entire life.”
So Ruby left, after which texted her mom. Remembers Jamie Lee: “I called her immediately. Needless to say there were some tears involved.”
But right this moment Ruby, 25 — who works as a video editor for a gaming character on YouTube — is extra comfy as she, alongside her mother, will get prepared to speak about her journey publicly for the primary time.
And Jamie Lee, 62 — nonetheless with just a few tears — stays able to pay attention. “It’s speaking a new language,” she says. “It’s learning new terminology and words. I am new at it. I am not someone who is pretending to know much about it. And I’m going to blow it, I’m going to make mistakes. I would like to try to avoid making big mistakes.”
Jamie Lee says she’s realized just a few issues: “You slow your speech down a little. You become a little more mindful about what you’re saying. How you’re saying it. You still mess up, I’ve messed up today twice. We’re human.”
“But if one person reads this, sees a picture of Ruby and me and says, ‘I feel free to say this is who I am,’ then it’s worth it.”
Below, Jamie Lee and her daughter converse with PEOPLE about Ruby’s journey.
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Ruby, for a lot of LGBTQ folks, popping out just isn’t a onetime factor. When have been you first capable of say,”I am Ruby” to your self?
RUBY: When I used to be about 16, a good friend of mine who’s trans requested me what my gender was. I informed them, “Well, I’m male.” After, I’d dwell on the thought. I knew I used to be — perhaps not Ruby per se, however I knew I used to be completely different. But I had a unfavorable expertise in remedy, so I did not come out [as trans] instantly once I most likely ought to have. Then, seven years later, nonetheless being Tom on the time, I informed the one who is now my fiancé that I’m most likely trans. And they mentioned, “I love you for who you are.”
JAMIE LEE: When Ruby simply mentioned her lifeless title — I have not ever heard her say that title. It so does not match anymore. That was, in fact, the toughest factor. Just the regularity of the phrase. The title that you just’d given a toddler. That you’ve got been saying their complete life. And so, in fact, at first that was the problem. Then the pronoun. My husband and I nonetheless slip often.
RUBY: I do not get mad at them for that.
JAMIE LEE: I believe that is kind of evolutionary and an important step in our home. We have tried to keep up it in a giant approach. I’m studying lots from Ruby.
Jamie Lee, there may be that expression: “A mother knows.”
JAMIE LEE: I knew Ruby had had a boyfriend. I knew that Ruby had used the phrase bi. But gender id and sexual orientation — these are two separate issues. And I knew that Ruby performed feminine avatars in video video games. But once you ask, “Did you have an inkling that Ruby was trans?” I’d say no. But once I replayed Ruby’s life, I went, “Hmm, that, that, those, hmm.”
Ruby, whilst you and your sister Annie have well-known dad and mom, you might be each non-public folks. Did your loved ones’s Hollywood legacy have any impact in your popping out? Did it add stress?
RUBY: Yeah, nobody is aware of something about me, and I’ve tried my greatest till now to maintain it that approach. But I’m blissful to speak about my experiences now. Is it useful to return out? Yeah. Like, folks will nonetheless keep in mind me for who I used to be, however I have not modified that. They lastly get to see who I’ve all the time been, , inside, however now I lastly get to indicate it on the skin. But me popping out has nothing to do with my mother being well-known. I’ve tried to remain out of the highlight for a few years, or at the very least accomplished my greatest to. I’m blissful to be extra seen if it helps others.
JAMIE LEE: I’m not proselytizing, and I’m not attempting to force-feed one thing to folks. I’m merely saying, “This is our family’s experience.” I’m right here to help Ruby. That is my job. Just as it’s to care and love and help her older sister Annie in her journeys. I’m a grateful pupil. I’m studying a lot from Ruby. The dialog is ongoing. But I need to know: How can I do that higher?
RUBY: You’ve accomplished probably the most you possibly can, and that is all I need. Helping others is one thing everybody ought to do. I do not suppose it is solely our family factor. It needs to be a human factor.